Some men* do not understand how their behavior towards women could be perceived as threatening, if they have not physically battered her. They insist they were "only trying to talk" and express surprise or frustration when they are confronted about their behavior. Here is a quick checklist of behaviors which can be perceived as threatening, if you are a man dealing with a woman:
- Standing practically nose to nose and raising your voice at her.
- Standing practically nose to nose and pointing your fingers in her face.
- Physically blocking her efforts to walk away from you.
- Physically blocking her efforts to close the door between you two.
- Refusing to leave her apartment, office, car, etc. when she has asked you to leave.
- Sending angry voice mails, emails, or text messages.
- Repeatedly emailing or sending text messages to her when she does not respond and/or has indicated she does not wish to speak to you.
- Insisting she speak to you or meet with you when she does not respond or has indicated she does not wish to speak to you.
- Sending unsolicited gifts (whether nice or not) of any kind when she has indicated she does not wish to speak to you.
- Deliberately showing up where she is, watching her from a distance, or following her, even if you do not speak to her. (This is stalking.)
If you do any of these things, your behavior is threatening. Do not be surprised, if she continues to avoid you and/or reports your behavior.
Better yet, do not do any of these things. It is completely within any woman’s rights to decide not to speak with you at any time for any reason. If a woman does not want to speak to you, listen to you, or be in your presence, completely leave her alone.
*Women can and do behave in these ways towards men, and women and men can and do behave in these ways towards people of the same sex. But I most often hear of men behaving this way towards women, particularly before escalating their behavior to physical violence, so that is the scenario I am writing about.