I’m Not A Wall-Climber

I am remembering some very good advice my mother gave me when I was in my teens and wishing I was popular with certain people: when you are trying to get close to (or even reconnect with) someone and there is a wall there, don’t try to get past that wall. It’s there for a good reason. As I’ve gained the same number of years she had gained when she gave me that advice, I have found such walls are often for my own protection. So rather than push, I walk away. Heaven only knows what I’d suffer, were I to find myself on the other side.

That’s not to say that person is “bad”; for all I know, they could be positively delightful. But whatever they are dealing with in their life is probably bad for me to experience, so I am better off keeping my distance.

Of course that flies in the face of a popular saying making the rounds these days that claims sometimes people put up walls to see who cares enough to break them down. Newsflash: I care about myself and the people who are emotionally available to me too much to expend that kind of time and energy only to find myself in the midst of goodness knows what. I’ll pass. The people who want me in their lives know how to let me in when I come knocking.