From time to time someone in my circles will say technology has made people less social. They bemoan the ever-present earbuds jammed in ears or eyes glued to device screens in public places. “Talk to people!” they command. “Make eye contact! Smile! Say, ‘Good day’! Technology is making us anti-social!” These declarations seem to be most often made by extroverts or people in one or more dominant social groups.
As an introvert member of multiple non-dominant groups, I’m here to tell you I prefer my bubble. Sorry, not sorry.
My earbuds in my ears and my eyes glued to my device keep me sane in a loud world. They keep me from being a captive audience to other people’s vulgarities (whether or not they are directed at me). They keep me from hearing disparaging commentary about my looks or size. I do not hear men demanding my attention and becoming belligerent when I refuse to give it to them. I can drown out the parade of people preaching toxic theology, seeking donations, or trying to make snack sales on the subway, which is loud enough by itself without hearing, “Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, pardon the interruption!” shouted from the doorway of the subway car. They usually keep away strangers who want to overshare information about their lives or ask intrusive questions about mine. (People who need directions will talk to me anyway, and I don’t mind taking out my earbuds to help.) They keep me grounded when other people’s anger overflows into shouts and insults flung across an overcrowded space at one another. And they leave me with enough mental and emotional energy to interact meaningfully with the people in my life whom I want to talk to, listen to, and make eye contact with.
Technology has not make me anti-social: it has given me a way to preserve my energy for the social interactions that matter most to me. That is a very good thing. I don’t know where the idea that I owe the entire world my attention comes from, but I’m not subscribing to it. In the absence of a chauffeured vehicle and body guards, things most people are not clamoring for the wealthy and so-called celebrities to give up in the interest of being more social, technology minimizes the amount of harassment I experience while traveling to and from home. I am grateful for it.