On Not Being “Internet Famous”

I’ve been meaning to scribble my thoughts on this subject in my paper journal for a day, but I haven’t made the time. Besides typing is faster and helps me get my thoughts out better for something I intended to share publicly anyway.

I’ve been seeing articles on how to gain followers on social media, and they all have one thing in common: the sharer is sharing their expertise in a particular area. Then there are the people who already have a following because of their art/”reality” show/sports skills, and they carry that following with them onto social media. The common denominator between all of them and the type of people those articles target is their audience grows because of what they do. People falling in love with who they are is a happy side effect.

I’ve been scanning these articles, because I have wanted a large following on social media. But I’ve always felt cognitive dissonance when I read them and thought about applying them to my social media presence. The other day it finally dawned on me exactly why the approach demonstrated in those articles doesn’t fit me:

I am not trying to share pieces of information/expertise in a particular field here. What I am sharing here is pieces of me.

Having figured that out I felt…both relief at not needing to do all of that stuff and mild (very mild, and I’ll explain why later) disappointment. I want people to follow this blog and the Twitter account associated with it, even my Instagram account, because they are interested in me as a person. I want them to be drawn to my personality, be interested in my unique view of life, appreciate what they see of my heart. I want them to like those things so much they subscribe and re-share and drive up the stats counter on my WordPress dashboard. I’ve tried making this blog and its associated accounts into information receptacles merely for the sake of drawing a larger audience who would, I hoped, become interested in me as a person. I quickly grew bored of the exercise. It wasn’t authentic. It wasn’t me.

But my disappointment with that realization is mild. There have been days I have struggled with not being “internet famous”, and I’m sure being human there will be other days, but today isn’t one of those days. And I certainly feel no need to shit on the ways other people became internet famous to make myself feel better about not being that. I’m simply in a place of acceptance of who I am right now. Plus there are people out there who are interested in me as a person. Some I have known for years. Others I only recently met. All of them read and comment and interact with me on the personal level I enjoy. I am honored by their sincere attention. They put the “social” into “social media” for me.

It’s easy for me to get caught up in numbers. Today I’m not, and that’s a blessing.

“@Kelsye: In SIX WORDS or fewer, write a story about what you should have learned by now. #6words #life” I am enough. I am loved.

— Wanda Lotus (@wanda_lotus) April 3, 2015