Why I Don’t Debate

There is a (white, of course) blogger waxing eloquent on the various reasons the discussion about cultural appropriation is annoying and ought to end. I have interjected my opinion, only to have his opinion be repeated in various ways, unbudging, and even winding in unrelated subjects to “prove” his point. (I pointed out discussing whether a cultural practice like FGM [female genital mutilation] should be left alone by the wider society is an entirely separate discussion from how to use another culture’s dress/icons, but that point went right over his head.) I have chosen to walk away from the discussion, and this is why: I feel rage when people do not respond positively to my reasonable opinions, particularly when their opinion comes from a position of privilege and/or an attitude of entitlement. A handful of others have pointed out said privilege and entitlement (and have done a stellar job of being respectful in their commentary, I might add), but the blogger and the others singing his praises in the discussion just do not get it.

Rage, I tell you.

I don’t do debates, because I don’t like feeling rage. In a discussion where the person is coming from a position of privilege/entitlement I like being heard, having people realize their privilege, and seeing them make a real effort to understand the situation from the other viewpoint. That is not happening here. There is no attempt to learn from others. All that is happening is I am feeling more and more ragey. So it is better for me to not participate in the discussion over there.

The whole debate confuses me, to be honest. I don’t understand why people do not accept that when the culture is not yours, you do not have any right to define, question, or change the use of their cultural icons. For example, I love the bindis Asian Indian woman wear. But I have heard from bloggers of Indian descent that it is offensive for someone not of their culture to wear them. It annoys me that I cannot wear something I think is lovely. But I am not Asian Indian; I do not get to decide whether or not I can wear one. So I take my annoyance to my seat, shut up with any protests that may arise, and listen to what they have to say.

It really is that simple. Any arguments unnecessarily complicate the matter and are inherently disrespectful.

Using FGM and the proven dangers of it as justification for choosing to ignore another culture’s objections over how others use their icons/dress? Really? I can’t wrap my brain around that. The tactic is straight out of Derailing for Dummies.

Update: The blogger has, finally, separated the discussion of cultural appropriation from the criticism of cultural practices, praises be. I guess I made more of an impression than I realized. 24 hours (and patience on my part) can make a difference. I need to remember that…while not getting my hopes up unreasonably high.