I came up with Show Up, See, and Be Seen after successfully navigating an awkward stage in my life. Some time ago artist Janelle Monáe crossed my radar, and I began closely following her career. Before long I noticed most of the people following her are far younger than me, as is she. I had always been open about and proud of my age, but for the first time in my life I became painfully self-conscious about how old I was. Fearing being teased for being so intensely into someone so much younger than me I scrubbed all mentions of my age from my social media accounts and would not mention it to fellow fans. I moved among them hiding my shame for a couple of years.
It’s ironic that the messages of self acceptances in her music didn’t touch that part of me for years, though they inspired and informed other areas of my life.
The good news is I eventually outgrew that self-consciousness and again became open about my age. While my priorities have since shifted, and I no longer follow her closely, I learned from that experience just how much more powerful it is to celebrate my age and be seen nurturing whatever interests I have, regardless of the average age of the participants. I also realized I didn’t want any other women to live with that kind of shame. SUSBS was born out of my desire to encourage other women over age 40 to walk in that same freedom.
In exactly two months I will be 50 years old. I can’t imagine cramping myself back into a box of shame over my age after all I have gone through to get to this point in my life. As my mom says, you are never brought to deliverance to put yourself back into bondage.