I have always been a daydreamer. At times daydreams are what got me through situations which were out of my control without losing my sanity. Other times they were an enjoyable way to pass the time or put myself to sleep. Throughout my life I have developed a number of alternate universes based on a combination of my plans for my life and pure fantasy.
In one of those universes I stayed on the religious path I was raised in and found fulfillment there along with being free to widely exercise my various musical talents. In another I worked my way into engineering upper management…with a considerable amount of karmic payback towards some folks I had the displeasure of encountering in real life. In another I am an astronaut. Unlike reality, the possibilities are endless, and the results are exactly what I want and need.
However, unlike past phases of life, I am currently living a reality I do not usually need to escape. I have been doing the work to be able to show up for this phase of my life instead of daydreaming my way through it. I didn’t do the work alone, either. It has involved supportive friends and therapists in addition to my own hard work. The work is ongoing, and sometimes it is very hard, heartbreakingly so. But it has allowed me to find joy where I thought none was possible, hope when I figured it no longer made sense to hope, partnership when I was at my lowest, and the boldness to dream big.
Wouldn’t it be something, if the life I am living now is an alternate universe to one of those lives I wanted to live?