A DailyOm article I read recently states the time to blossom is now, not some supposedly perfect point in the future. The writer encourages us not to wait until things are “perfectly” aligned in some way before living at our fullest. I completely agree with that sentiment. But what about those of us who feel our time to blossom has passed?
It hasn’t. The time to blossom is STILL now. Our blossoming will not look like it may have looked 10, 20, 30 or more years ago, but it will be valid and beautiful.
When I was little we watched a lot of public television, including symphony orchestra footage. I fell in love with violin and started playing in 4th grade at my elementary school. I was that kid you had to tell to stop practicing so she could eat, sleep, or do homework. Our orchestra teacher recognized my passion and encouraged it. I decided I wanted to become a concert violinist, an African American Midori.
But my family did not have the resources to invest in private lessons, so my formal instruction went only as far as the group string program in the middle school where I completed 7th grade. We moved at the end of that year to a school district that had no formal string program past elementary school. A music teacher at that middle school told me about a private youth orchestra program, and I earned a music scholarship to play with them through high school. I continued to play but barely kept up due to my lack of personalized instruction. (Understand this was the 1980s. There was no internet, let alone YouTube, to turn to for self instruction. The public library I had access to didn’t have instructional material either.) By 11th grade I was thoroughly disillusioned by my lack of resources and progress, and after high school I put the instrument away until I could afford to get a teacher and learn proper technique.
Fast forward 30 years to last summer: I began taking a lesson each month with a Juilliard alumnus. It is only one hour, but I soak up every minute and apply what I learn until the next lesson. I’m currently working through Suzuki Book 3–double stops and shifting between 1st and 3rd positions will be the death of me!–while I wait for him to finish his 4-month stint on a cruise ship, then we can make sure I have accomplished the goals of Book 2. My goal is to become competent enough to play with a community orchestra and for loved ones.
My blossoming does not look like I had imagined 40 years ago at the start of my love affair with the instrument. Right now it looks like finally learning the beginnings of vibrato and spiccatto. It looks like having enough confidence to occasionally make a short video or audio recording for my friends. It looks like keeping a promise I made to myself three decades ago and loving myself for it. It brings immense joy to my life, and that is what matters most.
My time to blossom is now.