From November of last year through February of this year, I was in a dark, dismal place mentally. Most days I felt I would be better off not existing, even though I had no concrete plans to make that happen. I had absolutely no hope that my future would ever be brighter, and I felt I was worth more dead than alive because of my life insurance.
Thank goodness I stumbled upon some extra help (in the form of a clinical trial for people living with major depression) and reached out to mental health professionals and loved ones who were already in my corner. Now my optimism about the future is best described as cautious, But I can honestly say I am no longer in that bad place.
I watched this Psych2Go video today, and it reminded me of just how bad I felt during those dark months. I wanted to share it because some of you may have lost hope for your futures. Just like I had to remind myself, you are not alone and you are not utterly helpless. There are things you can do to support yourself, and there are people out there who are willing to help you make it another day.
If any part of what I shared sounds familiar, I want you to stop for a moment and really hear me: you are not alone in this. What you’re feeling is real, and it makes sense that you’re feeling it. But feelings, even the ones that tell you there’s no way out, are not facts.
I know how convincing that darkness can be. I lived inside it for months. And I’m here, talking to you right now, because something shifted, little by little, when I stopped trying to get through it alone.
You don’t have to have it all figured out. You just have to make it to tomorrow. And sometimes that means letting somebody help you do that.
Watch the video. And then, please, reach out. To someone in your life. To a professional. To one of the resources below. You are worth the effort it takes to find your way back to yourself. I promise you that.
If you need support right now:
- 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline — call or text 988 (US, available 24/7)
- Crisis Text Line — text HOME to 741741
- International Association for Suicide Prevention (crisis centre directory for countries outside the US)